LIFE...

2012-01-28T21:27:00.001+08:00

Peace.
We should not take it for granted.
Looking at the world now, let us be prepared.
For peace would not last too long.
All the fighting for the limited natural resources, how long would we have peace for?

Before we regret, before we don't have a chance to.
Do the things you want to.
Be with people you love.
Go to places you've always wanted to.
And lastly yet most importantly, to trust in the Lord.

2012-01-28T20:26:00.001+08:00

I just wanna die. :)

2012-01-24T23:45:00.001+08:00

All I want and hope for, is just to have my best friend back.

The way we used to be.
The way we can talk about anything and everything.
The way I can always rely on you about anything and everything.
Just being there for each other, just being best friends.

But its clear enough.
I've lost the only person in the world whom I trust my life with.

So what. it's clear enough. I'm just some nonsense now I guess.

Lesson learnt. Never love your best friend. And never trust someone with your life.

2012-01-22T19:15:00.001+08:00

Im doing all that I can..
To get you off my mind.
But I always fail in whatever I try.

2012-01-07T23:39:00.000+08:00

如果有一天，你觉得我们还可以，还有机会..
请记得，我会留在原地等着，直到能够完全放下你的那一天。

But, you will never ever see this.. </3

2012-01-03T10:35:00.001+08:00

Need to start dieting.
Need to start excercising.
Need to start to not put anyone in my heart.
Need to start cutting the part of my brain that controls emotions out.
Need to start being unfriendly.
Need to start a new life.

2011-12-30T17:36:00.001+08:00

In 2011, I've learned.
To let people who wanna leave, leave.
To let people who wanna stay, stay.
To make effort for people to stay in my life, but not too much.

And lastly, do not cry and not feel heartache when they leave.

2011-12-24T00:17:00.001+08:00

2011. Lost many important people.
Found my love.
Thought things would work.
On this day, it marks the end of it.
Love, what's love?
I love him.
So what?
What's love if there's no future?
Now, just few days before 2011 ends, I lost my love, my heart and myself.

2011-12-17T15:11:00.001+08:00

Oh well, I tried to make the friendship work.
But seems like, its just personality clash.
In that case, it don't matter to me anymore.
I tried.
And its just that people can't accept me for who I am.
My loss?
Need to change?
Definitely not.
I choose friends too.
You wanted to be a friend, I tried to be a friend to you.
But if you cant get used to me beinh me, so be it.
I don't give a damn. :)

2011-12-11T20:23:00.001+08:00

When two people of different culture sit together...

2011-12-09T23:05:00.001+08:00

Liar liar, pants on fire.

Everything is just a lie.
Everybody is just lying.
So since everyone is lying, I should join in the fun too.

Liar liar pants on fire.

2011-12-03T01:19:00.001+08:00

its time to move on.
im not needed here.
im not wanted here.
its time to move on.

2011-11-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

It sucks, but you gotta accept the fact.

It sucks but you gotta know that.

Gii, you're on your own.

no one's there.

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2011-11-17T14:36:00.000+08:00

lesson learnt.

2011-11-11T16:22:00.001+08:00

Shit..
I feel bad.
Im sorry.

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2011-11-01T21:26:00.000+08:00

a sudden thought..
when 2 people are still friends, all we can see of each other, are good things.
when 2 people get together, most of the time, we only see the negative sides.
and slowly, we would start to think, why are we in this unhappy state?
what did i do to deserve this treatment?
we will start to compare, ourselves with others.
wishing that the other person would know, but not saying things out.

but before anything,
sometimes, we have to constantly remind ourselves.
why have we chosen the person in the first place.
the good that we see in the other person.
and why have we been holding on for so long.

oh well, alone, being alone will always be a better choice for me.

2011-10-15T16:02:00.001+08:00

Be crazy. You only live life once.
Be strong, so you can protect yourself. Emotionally and mentally.
Be yourself, its their loss if they cant accept you.
Be happy, no ine is worth you crying for. Except for family.

Its my life.

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2011-09-13T12:41:00.000+08:00

it's amazing....
how people whom you thought would be there for you, were never there.
and people whom you think they don't bother, are always there to care.

doubts, confusion.
am i always making the wrong decisions?

2011-09-03T12:45:00.000+08:00

突然有那個衝動。
很想再次的說：有你真好。
但是我知道，不可以。
對大家都不好。

我也知道：有些事情，過去了就讓他過去。
就算現實多麼的殘酷，讓你多麼的想回到過去。

最美的愛情，回憶裡待續。

2011-08-31T16:59:00.001+08:00

weddings.. =]=]
it's so nice, so sweet, so lovely,
to see a couple come together, and settle down together.
to feel the love they have for each other,
to see how much they have gone through, and be able to go through all.
it's nice, it's lovely, it's really the best day of everybody's life.

i'm in love with weddings, where you can really feel the love they have for one another.

love?
something you don't need to say and yet be able to feel.
if it's said, yet you cant feel it, than move on. =]
find someone, who though they don't say it, but you can feel it, from the bottom of your heart.

2011-08-30T15:35:00.001+08:00

numb,
used to it.
don't really matter.
other than being quite lost in life,
i'm happy now. =D
i'm happy for who i am.
i'm happy that i have great friends.
the rest who don't appreciate, your problem.
=D
i'm loving giigii. =D

2011-08-06T23:56:00.001+08:00

i feel more than i think.
some things even though i know, i would wanna feel it's presence.

but i guess, this time around, i'm really really tired.
i don't want to guess anymore.
i don't want to feel heartache just because things that i feel is directly opposite from that i know.
and i don't want to feel heartache because of the change in everything anymore.
i'm not giving up.
its just that you won't be prioritized anymore.
till the day you give up, i won't give up.
but i guess, this day is coming soon.

2011-08-02T01:26:00.002+08:00

everybody has a limit.
so what even if its family members.
doesn't mean you can hurt me over and over again.
im sick and tired.
you will see me in the house,
but i wont be part of the family anymore.
that's it.
seriously, this is it.

2011-07-29T02:05:00.000+08:00

save the world.

people always say: save the earth, save the world.
i used to believe in that too.
i used to think that it is possible.
but hey.
reality is, it will never happen.
observing people, looking at how schools and organisations work, it won't happen.
humans are selfish.
who cares about saving the earth?
most people will think: when the earth die, i'll be dead long before that.
why care when i can do what i want now and that things don't affect me?

the only way of saving the earth,
is that HUMANS should stop being selfish.
is that possible?

2011-07-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

if its not appreciated, i'll leave.
if that's the case, you won't ever see me again. :)
good? :)

2011-07-22T11:46:00.002+08:00

cool down periods are just for one to get used to living without the other.
and when the period is over, that's it.

everybody is looking forward to weekends cause they are able to see that special someone.
i'm dreading for the weekends to come.
cause even if its the weekends, i will never ever see you.
weekdays are much betterer.
work and school. takes everything of my mind.

2011-07-18T17:57:00.002+08:00

if this is it, if this is what i feel it would be,
this will be it for the longest of time.

2011-07-16T20:58:00.001+08:00

I need to train myself:
mind over body.
emotions, last.

I cannot be affected, no matter what happens in future.
I need to stay cool.
I just want to be heartless.

I don't want to be affected by you.
I don't want to.
But no matter how much I say that, I know I am.

2011-07-02T18:08:00.001+08:00

i'm glad.

thank you. =]

2011-06-21T01:11:00.000+08:00

insomnia these few days..
and everything from the past, was running in my mind like a movie.
time when i just came to singapore.
4 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago.
friendship, relationships, all the other ships you can think of.
and through all these years, i've really lost trust.
everytime i thought that i found people whom i can rely on, they betray.
when i thought that i'm in good hands, everything will screw up.

but i really give thanks, that all these happened.
i've learned to be a better person, to people who are worth.
yes, i've learned NOT to care too much about others feeling, and be straight forward.
care = hurt
it is difficult, for me to care again, i won't dare to.

and, i don't think i can ever have that 'top of the world' feeling ever again.

i miss so many many people, and so many many things.
but i know, i can't go back.
and i know, it's best that i don't go back.

2011-06-07T01:05:00.001+08:00

New life. New people.

People whom are worth staying, will stay.
People whom I want them to stay, will stay.
The rest, get out of my life, thank you.

But then again,
So what even if I put in effort to maintain the friendship.
You don't even cherish the friendship yea.
When my best is just not good enough...

2011-04-28T23:18:00.001+08:00

independence.
the only way i can be independent,
is to hack care, is to ignore.
hiding, that's my way of being independent.

i have been my whole life.
all i want is to rely on someone i can trust.
but the only choice i have, is to be independent.
i will never rely on anyone again, except myself.

i can, and i will be independent.

2011-04-25T12:48:00.001+08:00

someone once told me.
all guys are the same in some ways.
i guess it is true..

=]=]
please, taigayan.
stop expecting.
stop disappointing.
stop being a burden.
stop everything.
stop being taigayan.

im tired.
i'm really tired of myself..
seriously..

2011-04-15T15:35:00.000+08:00

i guess i'm quite lost right now.
i don't know what to do in life.
i don't know where to start from.

i'm really tired..
can someone please plan my life for me?
or can someone just kill me so that i don't need to think anymore?
i'm tired..
tired of life, tired of myself, tired of everything.

i guess im just a burden.
taking the thought of studying overseas seriously now.
since that i'm a burden to everyone around me.
so why not leave, and not come back.
make sense yea? :)

2011-04-13T01:15:00.002+08:00

I have never allowed myself to regret about anything I've done..

But this time, I really do.
I regret knowing you better.
I regret wasting 7 months of my life..
I regret.

I'm glad that everything is over now.
I'm glad that I won't have to see you in my life again.
The last thing left to do, forget about the wounds that you've caused.

This is why I regret.. Because all you have as a solution, is just to go away.

2011-04-03T02:16:00.002+08:00

There's just so many things running through my mind..
There's so many things I hope to share.. With all of you, my love(s), my precious(s), my beloved(s).
It's just such a sensitive topic..
I don't wanna be some crazy freak, or irritating people..
But that's what i really hope to share.
Thats the best that I can share..

2011-03-29T00:04:00.001+08:00

everybody has a past.
everybody get used to their own lives after sometime.
and when we move on,
there's a tendency that we would be afraid that history would repeat itself.
and most of the time, it is because of this reason, we hurt others,
and yes, history would repeat itself of course..

everybody is gonna get hurt,
just like everybody is gonna hurt someone too.
be it your girlf/boyf, your family members or your friends.
I guess when you hurt someone,
a sorry should be said, without prompts..
it doesnt undo everything,
but sometimes, that's the only thing you can say,
to make the person feel better..

sometimes, saying sorry doesnt mean you're admitting that you're wrong..
it just shows how much the other person matters to you.

life is too short, to stay angry with someone.
life is too short, to not say sorry to someone.
maybe, the next moment, you wont have the chance to say sorry anymore..
cherish every moment. thats what i've learned in the past month.
that's what i've realised after so many things happend.
cherish every moment, and do whatever you wanna do.
no matter how impossible the task seems like.
little by little, day by day.
and make use of the rest of the days, even if there might not be enough, or too short.
at least you've made the best out of it..

2011-03-23T01:26:00.000+08:00

if i died tomorrow,
don't miss me.
don't cry too.

i'm not worth.. =]

if i died tomorrow,
just forget that about Tai Ga Yan, treat it as though she never existed.

if i died tomorrow,
please just laugh at me, or laugh with me.

and if i died,
i just want you guys to know,
that you are very important people to me.
and i love you guys, very very very much!

2011-03-12T19:12:00.000+08:00

Looking at the world today, I start to think:

If I die today, I really really hope that my precious ones would become a Christian.
Yea, it's difficult, it's not in my control. But I really really hope this way.
Cause I really really love you people alot.
I wanna see you when I'm back in heaven..

Looking at life now, I realised how fragile it is.
Anybody can be gone at any time any where.
Why is that my hope?
Cause if I died the next moment, I'd know that I'll still be able to see you upthere, someday.

And if I died tomorrow, yes, that's my last wish.
Yes, I know it's not easy, everyone have different background, differed beliefs.
But yet, it is still my wish.
Can I have a wish? Can there be a fairy, a geani to grant me this wish?
Please? Pretty pretty please?

2011-03-09T08:23:00.001+08:00

Thanks for being there for me for 7 months.
Thanks or being here for me as a friend even until now.
But I guess I will be just fine.

Thank you, the one whom I thought would be it.

Off, away from Singapore!! Till 31st march!!

2011-03-03T12:39:00.001+08:00

if life ain't bitter, its not life.

why we always say 快樂？
cause happy moments always goes fast.
that's why..

unhappy moments make time move slower.
and my time right now, is moving very slowly.
the more news i hear, the more unhappy i am.

2011-02-19T15:22:00.007+08:00

I'm sorry that I miss you.
I'm sorry that life ain't complete.

what can one do, when everything is so limited.
nothing.
and when there's nothing i can do, i'll start losing myself.

yea.
i'm someone, out of place.
where there's no one i can turn to.

goodbye. =]

2011-02-15T18:36:00.002+08:00

someday, i would dig my brain out.
someday, i would kill myself.
someday.
when i have had enough of myself.

i shouldn't hope anymore, should i?

unimportant, insignificant, to you.

2011-02-14T01:35:00.000+08:00

Some people are so dear to you,
that sometimes even though you know they have flaws,
but you just hate to hear complains about them.
Even from your family members.

I miss my pillar during the trip.
Strongest pillar? Not as strong as I thought it would be.
But I still miss my pillar.

2011-02-08T01:56:00.013+08:00

i am. you're not. =]

if someone needs so long to think, to gather courage,
means there's no trust.
that he don't trust you.
yes, it is difficult for you to get over, but let it be.
there's nothing else you can do.
you've tried all you could. you've done all you should.
if he insist that you leave, leave then.
你連尊嚴都不要的叫他留下，but so what?
他不稀罕.
and then again, what are you to him?
nothing. absolutely nothing.

staying up late at this point of time,
reminds me the first time i sneaked out of the house. cause you missed your train.
to accompany you.
=]

http://abcd-efgh.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-am-confident-to-say-i-am-in-good.html
http://abcd-efgh.blogspot.com/2010/12/blog-post.html

2011-02-02T20:06:00.000+08:00

the problem now is, are we ready for it again?

2011-02-02T11:08:00.004+08:00

感謝神，每次出事都有人發覺，都有人係身邊。

Yesterday,
As I collapse, I realized that I'm actually very lucky to always have friends by my side.
As I black out, I was very afraid, that that would be it.
As I regain conscious, I wanna tell everybody in office yesterday, that I love them alot.
When I couldn't see, I just told my mind, to be strong. To recover fast.
Someone told me afterwards, that I gotta love myself first.
Someone told me, it's okay. You can always come back here when you are free, when you got nothing to do.
I really love that place. I really love the people there.
It's really what you can call a second home.
Where the people will never leave you behind, where they will never give up on me when even I gave up upon myself.

The only night when I'm still the same person.

song in mind: talking to the moon. :)

2011-01-31T11:55:00.003+08:00

I'm dying.
I'm gonna kill myself if this continues.
I'm becoming two different people in the day and at night.

Everything hates me, everybody do.
It's time to be on my own again.
Yet this time, it's so damn difficult.

1 more month, 1 last chance. Why can't?
:):):):):)
Teach me how to move on in one night can you?
:):):):):):):):)
Please don't say all the best for my future.
You were my future. :)

越是在乎的人越是猜不透..
Current song in heart: 為你我被冷風吹

2011-01-30T02:16:00.000+08:00

For you, I put pride aside.
你是唯一的一個，我會撕破臉的叫你留下。

When I do this, there's nothing else that I won't change.

Just for you..

It's okay, if you still insist.
I'll just take a long time to learn.

2011-01-29T22:47:00.001+08:00

Sorry. I really thought we could make it after some quiet time.
Now I know, you wanna be quiet for the rest of our lives.
I really wanted to change, I've been trying.
But I'm just not good enough.

Everything, everyone gave up on me.
My laptop, my phone, myself and you.
:)

Current song in mind: 容祖兒-最後一課

I really did, I really do...

_ _ _ _ you...

2011-01-25T17:27:00.001+08:00

All I'm asking for, was a sorry from the bottom of the heart.
All I'm waiting for, is just for you to take the first step.

But it's alright.

Feelings with no trust. Goodbye then, since you insist.

2011-01-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

Gradution coming.
Holiday!!
Great!!
Runaway time!!!

Current song in mind: 容祖兒-心淡

2011-01-01T20:14:00.001+08:00

Memories will always be there.

Sometimes, we miss the past.
That's alright.
You can miss the past.
Everybody will.
But never regret.

Regretting about it,
cause craziness in people.
let people forget about being thankful about the present.
it let people become blind that they can't see the future.

Past, make us what we are today.
We miss the past, because its part of us.
Let it be a part of you, but never allow yourself to be stuck in the past.

2010-12-31T23:27:00.001+08:00

Last Day of 2010.

主的恩典樣樣都要數:

1) Learning how to teach dance.
2) Knowing how much I can put in for dance.
3) Having meet new people in my life.
4) Having real friends, good people in my life.
5) For these 3 smooth years in poly.
6) For my relationship with my family.

its just another normal/boring day.
what's so special about it?
time flies. people grow old.
so what's there to look forward to in a new year.

2010-12-16T00:08:00.001+08:00

things prepared, will be thrown.

its not appreciated.

im not appreciated.

im worthless, in your eyes, in everybody's eye.

sorry that you had to suffer to be with me.

sorry, that im like that and i'll never change.

accept me, and my past.

you wont change for anybody too.

you would want people to accept you and your past too.

am i not right?

唯有愛過才會明白，原來愛不簡單。

女孩以前總是把『愛』掛在嘴邊，她以為即使付諸行動也不足以表達自己那份情意。

而她從來都不知道其實把愛說得太明白會模糊了愛的真正意義。

懵懂無知的初戀，讓她在毛玻璃裡看愛情，受傷之後才明白愛其實不是口頭上說出的這麼容易。

經過了錐心之痛的愛情之後，女孩再也不敢把愛說出口。

她不明白為何愛可以在傷害之中呈現得如此體無完膚，而她始終不解為何自己的愛會被糟蹋得一文不值。

是她的存在價值不夠高嗎？還是因為她付出的不夠多？

誰說愛情裡沒有計較誰付出得多或少，誰又說愛可以偉大得不計較任何東西？

分開以後的情侶最計較的是誰愛誰比較多，誰又傷害對方比較多。

女孩終於明白愛情裡其實存在很多疑團，而愛情的盲點就是把這份情看得比任何東西都重要。

女孩以為說出口的愛是真誠的，她從未想過原來從嘴巴說出的愛可以口是心非。

因為純真的她認為一切的愛都是從『心』出發。

男孩對女孩隱瞞了自己那份感覺，他始終沒有正式告訴女孩他已經不愛了。

當女孩總是問著同一個問題時，男孩就昧著良心說出女孩想聽的答案。

為何男孩要欺騙女孩？

因為習慣了女孩的存在，因為不希望看見女孩那潰堤的眼淚，因為女孩還愛著男孩，所以男孩不忍心傷害女孩那脆弱的心靈。

男孩不曾想過對女孩最大的傷害就是說出假情假意的愛。

這個創傷在女孩的生命裡蒙上了一層陰影，從此對愛敬而遠之。

再多的淚水也無法洗滌傷痕上的血跡，再多的明燈也照耀不了那條被黑暗覆蓋的情路。

女孩把愛揮灑得淋漓盡致，換來的是虛情假意的愛。

女孩悔恨自己當初把愛當成了對男孩的口頭禪，把自己的愛呈現得如此毫無價值。

不管以後再遇見多少個男孩，女孩再也不敢輕易相信從嘴巴上說出的愛。

就算以後自己再次愛上了別個男孩，女孩也不再輕易說出那份愛。

她在男孩身上學會了愛是珍貴無比，即使常常說出『我愛你』這三個字也不足以證明情深意重。

倘若有一天女孩的另一個男孩問起女孩為何總是不說『我愛你』時，女孩一定會回答：

『不是我不想說愛，而是我不敢再說愛』

2010-12-15T18:38:00.002+08:00

"Treasure the ones who cry for you, care for you, stay up in the night for you and spends every minute of his/her life thinking about you. Be it upfront or behind-the-scenes, one thing's for sure; you won't find another who will love you that much."

true, so true. :)

2010-12-14T23:17:00.005+08:00

if that's what you want.

i don't wanna repeat myself anymore.
for the 4th? 5th 6th times?
=] i only allow myself to do the same thing for 3 times.
and i broke my rule.
if you don't understand,
rules made for myself by myself, is very important to me.
sorry, im selfish. i want things MY way, especially my rules, my principles.
all i could say, i did try. i gave all i could. and i really did try.
believe it or not, trust me or not, your choice.

i don't believe in changing for someone else.
you knew it.
you don't too.

accept me, or don't.

love, does not need to be spoken out.

and history, WILL ALWAYS repeats itself.

between people, if you cannot accept one another for who they are, you are making your life difficult. you are making the other party life's difficult.
accept the fact that people do/will change even ourselves.

hurt someone, and get hurt. get hurt, and hurt someone.

2010-12-14T00:18:00.001+08:00

must we always fight?
im tired of fighting, seriously.

2010-12-03T18:08:00.000+08:00

2010-11-22T14:20:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.
imma female.
i feel alot.
i read in between the lines alot.
i get hurt very easily.
i recover very slowly.
before i recover fully i will be a mean person.
that's me.
i am to be a spoilt kid.
i have a fucked up attitude.
and i dont deserve to have anyone around me. =]

2010-11-22T13:02:00.002+08:00

=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]
when you don't spare a thought for others, when you don't think in others shoe.
karma.
serve me right again hur? =]

2010-11-21T21:43:00.002+08:00

make it 2 now. =]

what am i waiting for?

2010-11-20T23:05:00.001+08:00

if you can totally ignore someone deem as important for one whole day,
i don't see how important that person is.

i'm tired of always taking the initiative to contact ...

2010-11-19T17:08:00.005+08:00

couples feel secure in a relationship when it comes to a point where even the toughest quarrels cannot separate both of them.

don't be 2 different people. stay the same throughout. that's all.

don't expect anyone to change. except everybody for who they are.

when you want them to change, expect them to, its no longer the same feeling. that's no longer love.

if you can't except from the start, or can't except anymore, than there's only one way out.

everybody will feel hurt at some point of time. sometimes, very hurt.

disappointments after disappointments.
what's the point?
of preparing, taking time out.
when nothing is appreciated, noted, needed.
what's the point.
when at the end of the day,
they are all just useless and redundant.
what's the point,
when everything is just SAID, but yet no actions from you.

2010-11-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

first camp in IIP, in my life is a 7 days camp straight.
2 back to back camp..
hahaha.. wow..
LOL!!
in this 2 camps, i've seen alot alot..
the different attitude of the different people, how ridiculous can people be.
but i've learned alot alot..
:D:D
i'm loving it at this place!! :D:D:D

2010-11-05T19:18:00.000+08:00

first time i said no..
first time i said no to dance performance..

:(:(
when i told myself to rest my feet, when i have camps..
i saw a mail to ask me to go for a performance..
OMGGGG..
how to decide like that..
although its not any big performance, it's just that its dance..
a chance for me to dance..
....
unhappy.. :(

2010-10-31T00:42:00.000+08:00

guess what, bid goodbye to 2 friendships in a day.
how wonderful can things get.
wow..
hahaha..
life sucks.
injured feet with performance on, friends gone.
=]
what can i say.
pride brings relationship down.
what's so difficult about saying sorry?
but pride just don't let me do it.
yes, i am someone who loves 'face' alot.
i'd rather make things till no turning back point, then to say sorry.
and yes, my attitude is getting from bad to worst.
2 friemds.
2 closest friends that i ever have.
i'm sorry, but so what.
i'm having this sucky attitude that i don't even know why.
leave if you want to.
i have got no comments.
cause i've already gave up on asking people to stay in my life.
thanks for being there in the past.
and i really did treasure the friendship.
sorry, that i'm being the way i am now.
and sorry, if i hurt you in anyway.
goodbye, and be happy to not have a friend like me.
a friend like me, sucks.
better not to have, then have.

2010-10-30T14:00:00.001+08:00

started attachment..
this 2 weeks was crazy..
no time to rest, no time to sleep.
dance, work, work, dance.
but it was all worthwhile.
injured my feet before performance.
now, i know how far i can go.
how i can give my best, where is my best..
thank god for everything, for this experience that i can learn.
mind over body, its just that, nothing else.
=D
i've done what i can for dance, gave my best,
and it's time to give my best for IIP! =D

sorry people, if im not there.. =]

2010-10-17T08:48:00.002+08:00

if you never realised..

everything, i say at most 3 times.. but usually, the 3rd time is very rare..

and its not just repeating myself..

that's almost for everything.. 3 times, AT MOST.

i've tried my best.

just that, i didn't know.

i thought, you would be different, from all the others.

i thought you would understand me.

but i'm so sorry.

i'm just expecting a lot..

at the end of the day, no one would. no one will. =]

since you've already made your choice,

please don't tell me that you still love me.

since you've made your choice,

please don't tell me that you still miss me.

since you've made your choice,

then please just tell me to fuck off.

wow.. what were all those hopes?

shall never hope for anything again.

my thoughts..

were never important to you since you made the decision.

even if you know, what's the difference?

我知道這樣不好
也知道你的愛只能那麼少
我只有不停的要
要到你想逃

淚濕的枕頭晒乾就好
眼淚在你的心裡只是無理取鬧
以為在你身後
是我一輩子的驕傲
原來你什麼都不想要

我不要你的呵護
你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久愛我一遍
就算虛榮也好
貪心也好
哪個女人對愛不自私不奢望

我不要你的承諾
不要你的永遠
只要你真真切切愛我一遍
就算虛榮也好
貪心也好

最怕你把沉默
當做對我的回答

never gonna ask anyone to stay anymore.
never..

2010-10-16T22:22:00.004+08:00

went for childhood friend's dad funeral today..
first time, i walked behind the coffin car..
first time, and i realize how awful it feels..
even if the person isn't someone very close to you..
so how would one feel, if that person is someone important?

when we got on the bus, i heard the auntie cried..
i couldn't take it, and tears rolled down..

and it once again reminds me..
people will leave. sooner or later.
they all will. we all will..
so get used to it.
learn to live alone..

if i suddenly die, i just want to thank everybody, for being a part of my life.
for being in my life.
=] and that i love you all..

你是否願意再做我的笨蛋？
不過對不起，我還會是我。
i will still be as impatient, as irritating, as immature.
i will still complain..
it might still be a long time before you'll hear them..
但我會盡力學者不抱怨，不埋怨。
不過，請你知道，什麽東西，我都會告訴你。
只是時間的問題。真的。
you're needed, in my life.
you're needed, as my greatest pillar.
第二次：可以留下嗎？

2010-10-16T03:29:00.000+08:00

http://www.todayonline.com/world/EDC101015-0000053/Love-really-is-like-a-drug

love is a great painkiller for pain.
than what is the painkiller for pain that is caused from love?

2010-10-16T00:28:00.001+08:00

2010-10-15T13:33:00.001+08:00

yuan lai wo shi na me de bu zhong yao.
na me de tao ren yan.

gong xi ni. =]

at that time, i pulled my face down, and ask you to stay. this time, i was hoping that you do the same too. but you didn't.

zou ba, na shi ni zao jiu ying gai zuo de. bye..

2010-10-14T13:53:00.002+08:00

喜歡，一定要說出口的嗎？
愛，不說就不在嗎？
原來，這都是那麽膚淺的。
我，也不再需要了。
不需要任何人。
不需要任何朋友。
一個人，也可以。
心給出去，回來時，都是碎的。
別再把心給出去了。

i miss you. but so what?
it doesn't make any difference.
i miss you, so what?
you wouldn't be back.
i miss you, so what?
eventually, you'll let go of me again, like one month ago, like today.
i miss you, but so what?
不說，不等于沒有。
感覺不出，因爲大家都在害怕。

2010-10-13T17:41:00.006+08:00

i thought i'm with someone who'll be there for me,
who will never throw me aside no matter what happens.
no matter what will try..
im wrong.
nobody would.
nobody is so stupid.

i once told you, no matter what happen i would never wanna split.
but this is what happened at the end.
那一天，我把面子放一邊，叫你留下。
時一樣我不善于做的東西。
you would never know how much that meant
今天，你得決定卻是這樣。
原來。。。
我一直告訴自己要珍惜。
但原來是沒有用的。
反正到最後，錯的都是我。
每個人都是這樣覺得的。

2010-10-09T18:40:00.001+08:00

sometimes, i just wish that i have a little talent in things i would like to do.
sometimes, i just wish that i can make decisions.
sometimes, i just hope that i won't be moved so easily.
sometimes, i just hope that i can trust my heart,my feelings.
sometimes, i just hope that i won't regret whatever i've done.
sometimes, i just wish that i'm someone whom can put things down easily, totally, fully.
sometimes, i wish that i'm not taigayan

and most of the time, i just hope that i haven't appeared.

i envy people who are born with nice arched feet.
i envy people who are strong willed.
i envy people who can be fast in things that they do.
i envy people who are so committed.
i envy people who can be so disciplined.
i envy people for who they are.

and sometimes. i just hate myself..
please, don't trust me.
i am not trust-able.

2010-09-26T22:18:00.002+08:00

thinking back, looking at things that happened to, around me and those that happen to people around me..
seriously, what's love..
how long can this feeling last?
it can just change in a *snap*.
and now, who can promise that things and feelings will never change?
who can promise that you'll stay true to someone?
cause i believe, at some point in time, at some time in life, you wouldn't be.
and seeing all these, i'm freaking out.
i don't think i want to trust in feelings anymore..

2010-09-24T00:21:00.007+08:00

Sept is ending.. Like SO SOON!

Attachment is gonna start.. Like SO SOON!

dance.. hopefully i can get it right..

hopefully i can get the feel,

hopefully i can break out from the 'small girl' impression.

hopefully i can be better..

push myself more and i will be there..

more dance trainings, at different places.

training for the mind, and the body. :D:D:D

had my alone time this whole week.

AND I'M LOVING IT!! =D

a time whereby i have time totally for myself and my dearest friends!!

this is the time where i can really be myself..

don't have to 'entertain' when even if i don't feel like..

time where i don't have to care about my phone or care about how someone feels.

or worry whether he had overslept on the train and things like that.

time where i feel ALONE!

sometimes, i feel that being alone feels so good..

can learn to be independent too!

since no one to rely on for the moment..

its good!!
and someone will be back!! LIKE SOON!!!
hahahahaha!

I'M LOVING IT!!
縂有一天，你會摔開我的手的。

time to think what i really want to do..

after poly..

what do you think of graduation?

i don't like it.. =]

Dear Lord, please let my dearest friends be safe in Phillipines.
Let them have an enjoyable trip, and be healthy.

Please bring them back safely..

2010-09-18T22:56:00.000+08:00

memories...
lollol.. all my memories are getting spoilt in someone hands!!!

2010-09-15T00:22:00.000+08:00

it's a great day, only for that few hours when playing.
the day sucked big time when it started..
ended badly too.
fuck birthdays..
bad things will always happen on some retarded birthday.

ca

2010-09-13T15:10:00.001+08:00

can't you have a bit more brains? like, seriously? -.-

2010-09-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

if everything i need to ask in order to know, what's the point.
if everything to you is ridiculous, why not forget it?
if everything is just becoming a chore, then let's just put this burden down.
if you think i'm just a nuisance, then it's obvious enough.

bye peeps. :)

2010-09-08T23:21:00.004+08:00

still the greatest pillar.
but is it the pillar i will rely on no matter what now?
maybe not..

am i still as sure as i was?

i'm just one who'll never be contented with whatever i have.

2010-09-07T23:48:00.001+08:00

whatever life will be, i no longer care.
i give up.
leave me alone, just leave me alone.

what is care?
why care?

2010-09-05T14:36:00.001+08:00

everything just don't feel right.
i just feel like giving up everything, and hide.

2010-09-02T02:01:00.001+08:00

saw a vid on facebook..
made by a guy i guess.
the understanding of 'girls will be willing to do everything for a guy without regrets' kind of thing.

saying how happy he was to overcome the 衝動的那一刻,
how happy he was seeing the true happiness the true smile that come from deep within from gf.

and i wonder..
how many guys are willing to do that in the era now..
looking at the things that happened to girls around me,
what can i say?
ALL i can say, IS THAT 99.9% of the guys ARE SELFISH.
who cares, when they can get what they 'NEED'.
if you need to get what you need, FYI, there's the 紅燈區 meant for you all.

as the countries become more and more westernize,
who really care about this?
people just think that it is all normal.
that it is not really important.
that being more 'open-minded' is okay.

say me old-fashioned and stuff.
first should be left for one and only special person.
best gift you can ever give to that special one, no?

back to everything else..
I AM JUST A FUCKING FAILURE IN EVERYTHING.

if you feel happier leaving, then go.
i've got nth else to say.
sorry, to make you more troubled then before.

2010-08-24T20:03:00.000+08:00

saw this on facebook: When girls get jealous, it's normal. But, when boys get jealous, lucky the girl he loves.

FUCK THE PERSON WHO CAME UP WITH THIS..
it must be a HE whom thought of this.

when it comes to r/s:
girls cry, gets jealous, and everything else, its normal or that they are TOO SENSITIVE, and people will say, poor guy.
but when guys do the same, it means that they care, they love the girl alot, and lucky the girl.

WHAT THE FUCK.
crappiest thing ever..

why not think the other way round, when guys cry and everything else, they are TOO SENSITVE and poor girl, for having a guy like that.
and when girls cry and everything else, its because they care, and lucky the guy.

stupidity..
no matter guy or girl. when they cry, get jealous and everything else. it means that the other person means alot. and lucky both to have each other.
ridiculousness..

2010-08-21T23:07:00.002+08:00

im just a god damn failure in everything i do, i have.

2010-08-19T01:22:00.000+08:00

sometimes, not saying anything is better,
then saying and not doing.
yea, when someone say something, you might know that there chance is not high.
but there is still that bit of hope..
when there's this bit of hope, there bound to be disappointment.

maybe that's the reason why i hate people making promises..
and maybe that's the reason why i always hated promises..
=]

2010-08-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
i know that you know..
thanks, for not saying it out.
sometimes,
i know that you really don't know.
and i hope that you will know w/o me saying.
contradicting uh?
that's humans i guess..

it's been more than a year..
i guess its really time to forget totally, truthfully.
i hope i can..
its really difficult, seriously....
=]=]=]
the one whom is nearest to perfect.
the one whom i can really say i loved most..
the one whom i'll never wanna forget..
but its time to.. =]

2010-08-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

BEN DAN!
DUI BU QI!
<3<3<3 i still love you many! hahaha..
THOUGH I LOVE MANY OTHER PEOPLE MORE!!!
i know you will see this! :D

2010-08-07T01:58:00.002+08:00

如果有一天，
你發覺原來你麽那麽喜歡我，
想要離開的話，
請你早些通知我。
就像在公司，辭職也會早一個月通知。
謝謝。=]

對不起。我並不是一個樂觀的人。

2010-08-04T23:42:00.005+08:00

i know i shouldn't ask for too much.
i know i should be glad with everything i have now.
i know i should count my blessings and give thanks for them..
but i don't seem to be satisfied.
i don't seem to be happy.
i don't seem to be what i thought i would be.

what happened?
why?
i know, but i just hope for more and wish for more.
why am i like that..
ZZZZ
i'm unhappy with myself..

i guess i am really asking for too much.
i guess i am really the most irritating person ever
i am not good either, i shouldn't ask for too much i know.

sometimes i love alone time..
so i can think and reflect on life.
but most of the time i hate it..
i hate to think of things that will affect me..
i'm really sorry...

2010-08-03T15:43:00.001+08:00

2 months..
to prepare myself..
OMG lar..
what am i supposed to do??
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
die die die die die die-ed.
step out, step up.
KE YI DE KE YI DE!!!!!
die die die die die die die die die die die die die die......

sometimes,
i wonder why am i so affected by so many little things..
i don't want to be.
but it just happen to be this way.
Things that happened in the past, I've let go, I've 'forgotten'.
But when similar things happen or when I am under similar situation......
I don't know what to do..

GROW UP! STEP UP, STEP OUT! :D

2010-07-26T16:14:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i have my reason for saying some things.
but these reasons, you don't have to know.
or sometimes, i don't even know them.
i have experience things that made me think that way..
it's not that i'm trying to AA,
but that's what i feel, that's what i think,
and that's what i think things should be.
So when i say something serious,
it normally mean something.

2010-07-26T00:13:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry.
guess 我要求太多了。。
i'm not good at all,
沒資格。。。
=]=]=]

sorry bendan<3<3

2010-07-24T06:41:00.001+08:00

如果有一天，
你突然覺得我很冷淡，
那並不代表我不再愛你。
我只是不知道該做些什麽，該說些什麽。
我只是在害怕。
就是這樣而已。

2010-07-19T02:05:00.001+08:00

LOOKS.. APPEARANCE..

how much does all these mean?
are all those so important?
sometimes, looks don't really matter.
whats the point, when there's good looks, but yet people don't feel comfortable being around him/her?
what's the point, when there's looks, but bad personality?

sometimes, looks ain't an issue.
it's the feeling when you're with someone.
the happiness you feel when communicating with them.

HAPPY 1ST! =]=]=]=]

對的人，不對的時間，是一種遺憾，一種說不出的痛，一種永遠都會在得痛，一種不論過多久，都無法忘記的痛。
錯的人，對的時間，是一種錯覺，也是一種痛。不過這痛，很快就會過去的。是一種美好的記憶，但卻不是深刻的記憶。
對的人，對的時間，是一種幸福。一種無法形容的開心。
希望這次是對的人，對的時間吧。=] 我相信會是的。

2010-07-09T12:15:00.000+08:00

sometimes, saying sorry dont mean anything.
sometimes, saying sorry means everything.
when does it mean something?
when does it not?
dont say sorry after you've hurt someone.
no point. sorry doesnt really cure.
yes, things might get better after awhile,
but sorry will never heal the wound.
it will always hurt,
even after years..
yes, it does make you feel better,
but it don't make the other party feel good.

sorry, is just a word, to make us all feel less guilty. =]

2010-07-05T01:34:00.001+08:00

dont tell me you are my friend, when you dont even make an effort to stay in my life.
dont tell me that i was the one who left, cause im sure i didnt.
dont tell me that just because my r/s status change, we are no longer friends.
oh yea. who was the one who said promises wont be broken.
now look, im right..
if you wanna walk out, go ahead.
i wont hold you back, not anyone..
will never.

im not angry, im not sad. just disappointed.
i thought you were a friend. that's all.

true friends, would be there ALWAYS. no matter what, where, when, how, why.
and not just because r/s status changed, and the friendship gone.
let it be. not worth it anyway.