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you can rely on me.
for you,
specially

I promise you,
I'm always there,
when your heart is filled with sorrows and despair.
I'll carry you,
when you need a friend;
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

Wanting to be your favorite hello & your hardest goodbye


dont judge

loves.

To love is to be vulnerable
I choose not to be

i won't hold you back.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

thank you.

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Hosts: x o x


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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

2nd week in school
things are not going the right way..
just dislike everything now.
!@#$%^&*
tired, lifeless.

was bored in class, saw somethings i saved in my comp long time ago.
haha..
i'm feeling such a fool right now.
and, i have communication problems with people here. argh.

it's been a month plus, and it still hurts when i think of the friendship.


2:29 PM


Monday, April 20, 2009

1st day of sch,
1st day of a new year, new sem.
things are going the opposite way.
can someone give me directions?
i'm lost on the way..

oh god.
i need a break!
i wanna run away.


11:31 PM


Sunday, April 19, 2009

time to get out of my comfort zone.
i need to do better, be better.
but, can someone kindly lend me their confidence?
i can't seem to find mine..


12:56 PM


Friday, April 17, 2009

Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life and pastor of Saddleback Church in California , gave the invocation at the Presidential inauguration last night. His insights about life are remarkable, especially now that his wife has cancer and he has garnered tremendous wealth from sales of his book.


When interviewed by Paul Bradshaw, these are the things Rick said:


People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings , not human doings.


Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD .

Painful moments, TRUST GOD .

Every moment, THANK GOD.



God's Blessings on you today and always . . . . . . . . .


11:02 PM


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

WHY SOME PEOPLE JUST WON'T CHANGE AND BE A PEST IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIFE?
even just a good intention-ed msg, they can change the topic till they piss you off, totally.
anyway, i'm amazed by my patience i had on this fella, who don't understand what's memories, or i should say, love.
and i'm amazed that i can control myself to not say harsh words!
taigayan, you've grown!
CONGRATS! :D

had great time with girlfs ytd, though short. :/
not much pics. *cries on the floor*
STSP AND WSY LA! DON'T WANNA TAKE PIC!
I HATE THEM!!
but, i still love them.
HAHAHA!!
I MISS MY DARLING LURH! never get to see her ytd.. :(

losing the confidence i once had.
i'm never good in anything, even if i give my best in it, even after i give many attempts..
suddenly, i lose all aim in life..


2:19 PM


Sunday, April 12, 2009

fruits my mummy bought! :D
ALL ARE MY BELOVED! WOOTS! accordingly... hahaha..


suddenly, today got many unexpected calls.
and all asked the same question 'why are you so shocked?'


time to be independent. :)
now, let's play around first. :)
let's not be a burden here. :) deal? now, that's the gayan i know. :)


8:29 PM


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

i'm so bored..
many things going through my mind at this moment.
some i know,
but some i don't even know what that is bothering me.
hai..
school's starting soon.
IRRITATING!
I LOVE HOLIDAYS!


1:57 AM


Monday, April 6, 2009

MY PHONE IS BACK! :D:D


5:12 PM


Sunday, April 5, 2009

i did a very dumb thing.
I LEFT MY PHONE IN HONGKONG!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
i wanna go swimming. the weather is so damn friggy warm.


6:36 PM



back from hk. :)
and i WANT TO GO BACK HONGKONG RIGHT NOW!
seriously, i don't like this place.
NOT AT ALL.
i've found out that the feeling of being together as a whole family is so good.
i've never ever felt this way before, until the recent trip back.
it feels good, to go everywhere with your family, having little friends.
and people, you won't be able to contact me through my phone until monday night.

why do i seem to have a great communication problem with people after i'm back? wth..
taigayan, please stop being such an ass.


2:13 AM